so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
