Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My nipple is on Facebook.
i permit you to call me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
