every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
