Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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