I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
