it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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