FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
His hands were made for my vagina.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
