You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
