There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
