I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
