Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
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The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
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If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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