you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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