He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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