I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
