I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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