I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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