she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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