I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize