Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
