why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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