The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
