You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
