Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
