so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
