i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
