i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
