The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm jealous of your bromance
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
