i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
