her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
