summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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