Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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