I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
