Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
