shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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