she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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