I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
