just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize