The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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