Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
