i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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