let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
