Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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