I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
