I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize