so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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