You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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