Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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