I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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