Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
if only i could text you this smell
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
