Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
