in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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