What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
