you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
