dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize