My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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