Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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